It is difficult to pinpoint its source, but there is something about Sundays that causes to me to be discontent with the state of the church in our country. And its effects upon me are such that I have to almost force myself to go to the building that we call, “the church,” on Sunday mornings though I scarcely doubt that God’s saints do indeed gather there. And if this discontentment with Sundays were coupled with a disdain for fellowship with the saints, I would necessarily conclude that my own heart was to blame for it. Yet, I find that despite my discontentment with “church” on Sunday mornings I do in fact enjoy and indeed yearn for fellowship with God’s people. Therefore the question that rests heavy upon my heart is, “If I am indeed in Christ and if I truly long for the company of the saints, why is then that I have such reluctance toward “church” on Sunday mornings?”
Assuming that I am not wholly wicked (which is sometimes a shaky assumption), what is it about "church” on Sunday mornings that causes my heart at times to shy away from it rather than be drawn to it? What merit (if any) is there for this disposition of my heart?